So what is going on with me? I am totally numb in my feelings i don’t care for anything and no one else than myself matters. In hindsight I understand that this was my brain saving me from dying by basically shutting me down and taking control before it is to late.
I got overmanned by my own mind as crazy as it may sounds this is what actually happened and I am grateful for that. Now let’s get back to that time and I will try to give a fair picture of how my social life was at that point – not existing is the short explanation. I had friends calling me (yes you actually called people on their phone back then) and asking me to go out and party with them – I didn’t tell them what’s happened – not because I was embarrassed – I just did not care.
I have told them afterwards but I have never told the story like this.
This is a bit weird for me to talk about because it feels like I am talking about someone else and maybe I am because I was certainly not in control at this time I was shut down by my own brain.
Part #4 is coming Monday next week and will be about my body’s damage control functions and how this affected me then and how it still affects me – after that #5 will be about recovery and my learnings from this and #6 is what are the signs that I personally look for in someone stressing themselves out to the point of no return. So stay tuned.
Please do remember that No job is worth stressing for and I mean No job – and if you burn yourself out the company will just replace you the same way they replace a trash bag.
My Vlog: https://youtu.be/TRwEn-OGIgk
She likes when you read her blog too:
Her Vlog in Swedish- turn on captions for your language: