I had literally been sent home from work by my boss and truthfully I didn’t care at all – nothing was important for me and I mean nothing – I was just totally numb – came home and just laid down in my bed not thinking about anything – this was kind of refreshing for me.
That day have almost disappeared from my mind – luckily enough I had the power and insight to take some notes. I took a long shower just standing and let the water do its thing- warm me up because I was as cold as I have ever been neither before nor after.
What had really happened I asked myself and it was way too early to ask that question because I did not get any answers – I focused on what’s next instead and got the same result back – nothing. The strange thing here is the total feeling that I did not care about anything- absolutely nothing mattered to me at that point- not wanting to do self harm but just I did not care anymore because nothing felt more important than my own survival.
The day after I had to do some grocery shopping and went to the local store and I had the feeling as soon as I left my home that I was being watched – eerie feeling to say the least and this would follow me for quite some time.
I managed to get to the store and picked up some food to get me through the next couple of days- came to the register and stood in que to pay and it just felt that the world around me got smaller and smaller- like it was imploding and I was the center of gravity.
It took all my willpower to not just run out of the store leaving everything that I was buying.
Revisiting this moment and feeling reminds me not to stress anymore.
Part #3 is coming up here tomorrow Friday.
Please do remember that No job is worth stressing for and I mean No job – and if you burn yourself out the company will just replace you the same way they replace a trash bag.
My Vlog: https://youtu.be/TRwEn-OGIgk
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